Musings of the Internet Bounty Hunter, a first post.

2005-10-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

Greetings, I am the Observayor. Why do I call myself that, you ask? It is because observing is what I do. Contrary to what the public believes, I am not entirely human, but a extra-terrestial being hiding in a human shell on a mission to observe this fertile and young planet. In contrast to this beautiful and lush planet, I have found that its inhabitants are extremely primitive, and the limit of their stupidity approaches 2 to the power of 82...or something. Once in awhile my telescopes fall upon some form of intelligent life or another, but it is not everyday such miracles happen. Needless to say, intelligent lifeforms are immedietely apprehended(kidnapped, some people accuse) and escorted to my top secret laboratory in...wait...I almost gave its location away.
...
...

Well, not exactly. Before I subject you do my ranting that will undoubtedly cause global temperatures to rise and bring about a new ice age, I shall entreat thee the greatest picture in motion picture history,

*suspense*
*more suspense*
*long silence*
*crickets*
...
...
...
........
behold!

That is, my friend, as you most probably recognize(and if you do not, you better be like me, an ET), Tifa Lockheart from the world acclaimed video game Final Fantasy VII, and most recently, main character in the movie Final Fantasy VII : Advent Children. Though the time of FF7's video game fame is already long over, this new movie is the subject of the most hype and controversy in a movie for a long, long while.

While I have neglected to mention this at the intro, I will do so now.
The events in this world happen, and would be perceived in one perpetual, unchanging order, which I shall try to illustrate, with my limited ASCII skills, to you simian brains.

(ME)	<----->	(Part of the World)	<----->	(Rest of the World)
	1 Week.		2 Weeks.

As you can see, when new stuff happens, I am the first to perceive it(there are a few in my league, but they do not get honoury mention, boo-hoo) and after a week...a part of the more well-informed world does, and after another two...weeks...well, even you must get it by down, don't you?

Obviously, if you still haven't watched the AC Movie, you obviously don't belong on this world(or my world, for that matter, ha-ha.) Perhaps you live near my laboratory near the Earth's crust(but I watched it, no excuse!). Either way, I don't pretend to care.

Anyways, my 2 gazatrillion dollars on the movie(what my opinion is worth compared to yours):
It isn't nearly as pretty as the pic is. Well it is, but the plot isn't. But who cares eh? I got my two hours worth(Yes,that's how long i took to download it off Bit Torrent, suckers.) just buy viewing Tifa in all of her splendour. And the mind-blowing action scenes are just icing on the cake. The plot...well, they never made any pretence that the plot was going to be epic in the first place, and they never hid the fact (it is painfully obvious thus) that the entire plot was merely a contrivance to BRING SEPHIROTH BACK TO FIGHT CLOUD IN CG COMBAT.

So, just sit back and enjoy the 100mins cutting-edge CG animation and Tifa in her full glory, and make nerdy comments about how badass Cloud looks when he did that limit-break-omnislash-thingy and totally wtfbbqpwnt Sephiroth.
God, that scene was cheesy as hell.
- Ze Inzernet Bounty Huntor

The Internet Bounty Hunter

Musings of the Internet Bounty Hunter, a first post.